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Eventually, we put them in the cart when they fail to listen as we warned we would. The kid throws a fit promises this time will be different and in some cases tries to prevent you from leaving. Because in this situation is shows a smiling child being put into a cart and happily ever after. We ask them to stop and explain why. The ideas in it are just common sense.
For example, we have all had those times at the grocery store when the child is asking for things, throwing fits or running around. It only touches on the surface of issues. To say it was worthless is an understatement. And of coarse they continue throwing their fit while in the cart.
No mention of what really happens when the parent follows through and puts them in the cart. This book continues this type of theme throughout. They do for a minute then are back to the bad behavior. My question was, then what. However, children are complex and can behave irrationally as do parents.
Me and my husband bought this book to help with our 6 and 4 year old boys. To top it off the situation continues at home the child asks to go to the store, mother says no because the child had misbehaved, then the child apologizes and says okay mom maybe next time. Yea right. And what if your a single parent and don't have the option of leaving your child at home as punishment. This book says "give them the option to listen or get in the cart" okay fine, "When the choose not to listen put them in the cart" the end. They don't always listen to logic, especially at two or three. The book portrays situations in a very strange manner.
If you are an angry person that speaks disrespectfully to your kids or is very neglectful, maybe this book would help. What is the appropriate coarse of action: leave the store, ignore them or punishment and if so what punishment. What got me was the attitude of the authors. In an ideal world it would work. However, in my opinion if you are already taking steps to better your parenting skills by buying a book you would be beyond the scope of this book, spend your money on a different one.
Interesting new concepts that I've tried to put into practice. My 2-year old seems to respond well to the author's suggestions of validating/describing emotions or feelings instead of labeling, criticizing or solving.
The authors provide a useful guide to parents, by offering practical and applicable methods that will have a positive impact on their relationship with their children. The book presents an excellent approach to parenthood and is an easy-read. The material presented is a wake-up call to parents, as it explains that parents need to be aware of children's feelings. Parents must promote cooperation and should inspire, praise and support independence in their children. A good addition to your parenting library, this book offers parents an important set of tools for a lifetime of intimate communication, not only between parents and their children, but for your child's future family as well.Jeffrey L. Fine, PhD, Psychologist: Author of: -"The Art of Conscious Parenting"
The writers claim that children will naturally come to the right conclusions about how they should behave if simply listened to, and allowed to feel whatever they are naturally feeling. It is still gentle, but firm. Overall, the writers had good intentions, but their technique is a bit on the floofy-feely side.
Most children need more guidance. A better book is "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12" by Thomas W. This simply isn't true.
The result would surely be completly undisciplined children. I agree it should be gently done, but I disagree that parents should never lecture or "preach to" their children. If you never tell them what is good, how can they choose to be good.
Phelan. Kids aren't left to flounder about how they ought to behave to be happy.
My husband has read this way before he met me and I have no doubt that this helped him become a better husband. I am reading this now -- we are expecting our first child -- but this book is also giving me insights on my marriage as well. Highly recommended.
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